Soon I figure out that I didn't solve any problems.  
Now I the new ones of being a wife and
homemaker too.  It didn't enhance my spiritual
growth either. In addition,from the beginning I had
this reoccurring nightmare; I was sobbing beyond
control and my husband was gone!  I couldn't tell
where he went or why.  My pastor told me it was
just a common newlyweds worry.. But that dream
repeated itself for years.  Little did I know that
God was foretelling something that would
someday knock my feet out from under me....He
needed to get my spiritual life in gear...I had a
rough road ahead.

Things didn't get better either and I fought God
like a spoiled child until the morning our second
child who was only 2 1/2 weeks old died of
SIDS.  God had told me in a dream just a couple
days before that he was going back home, but I
shrugged it off as "only a nightmare." But it was
real and it happened despite my unwillingness to
listen, because it wasn't what I WANTED.  I
remember slamming a pillow against the bed while
the paramedics tried to revive him yelling at God,
"YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM AWAY!! HE'S
MINE....GOD, DO YOU HEAR ME....HE'S
MINE!"
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No, he was Gods little angel who came to me for
just a few short days to help me to realize I
couldn't plan my own future.  He was Gods little
boy and I was God's daughter, and I was heading
down a road of destruction if God didn't get my
attention.  Through a host of loving people, God
spoke to me, encouraged me, held me, loved
me,  and helped me heal.  I took much comfort in
knowing I would see my baby Andrew again in
heaven and when I got there, I was going to
thank him for being God's messenger that began
to turn my life around.

And timely it was because much happened in the
years ahead.  Yet I must stop for a moment and
tell you that once I started to grow in Jesus, the
more I saw his hand move.  God gave me a
ready made youth group right on my front porch
(of our first place, around our 10th anniversary).  
Once I was praying for a couch for that place
because we had minimal furniture.  I remarked
that I knew he couldn't just toss one out of the
sky (don't ever tell God he "can't"), and less than
20 minutes later I was driving the rest of the way
home with one on the roof of my car.  I witnessed
first hand people saved from the clutches of the
occult.  I witnessed God’s hand save me
from many distasters..  God spared 2 of my kids,
my mom, and my step dad in a boating accident.  
My daughter told me afterwards that someone in
the water grabbed her leg and put her foot in my
mom's hands....but there was no one else around
them!!!!

Yet, in spite of all that I'd witnessed and
experienced, there was yet one more thing that
was yet to challenge my faith to the very depths!  
And one last time, God tried to forewarn me in a
song that wouldn't leave my head no matter what
I tried to do.  It was "Help me" by Cathy
Troccoli.  The second verse goes, "Sometimes,
people leave and I can grieve cause life’s not
always fair. Help me to go on, tho I can't see you
I believe you're there, I know you care." .......
Denise's Testimony cont.
In 2004, after a lovely cruise with my husband
and oldest daughter, I came home and within
weeks I held in my hands, black and white
evidence that my husband was cheating on me
with more than 1 person he met in a game/chat
room online!  After I confronted him, he decided
"we" were over, and he walked out.  My world
crashed down around me.  I couldn't function.  I
wanted to die.  I sobbed every hour my eyes
were open.

But again, God came to be with me through all
His wonderful loving people.  Once again the
warmth of Gods eternal and unending love poured
down on me as I struggled to get my head above
water and my feet on some ground that wasn't
sloping downhill.   I didn't know that God hadn't
only wanted me to know the terrible that would
happen to me in 2004, but he really wanted me to
trust him for something better.  Romans 8:28 "For
we know that all things work together for good, to
those who are called according to His purpose",
and Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know that plans I have
for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a
future."   God reminded me of those truths and the
Bible promises us that the "truth will set you free".  
He also reminded me in many places that God
wouldn't tolerate and adulterer or one who breaks
their vows or covenents...but He impressed on me
that it WASN'T my job to get my hands into HIS
work.
I can't be honest and say that I was patient with
God's timing.  Oh, how I wish I could have been.
Life would have been easier on me AND those
around me.  To God and to my family and friends
I owe so much for their patience!  Still God is
faithful, and he was to me....for I met a wonderful
man who is so wonderful.  God is first in his life
(and I happily take second!).  He loves to
worship together, he attends Bible studies and
spiritual growth programs. He and I attend
marriage conferences regularly to make sure we
are on track.  We pray together, we witness
together. We support each other when there are
troubled times.  We encourage each other thru
our physical limitations.  He just began going on
mission projects and I will be joining him on his
next assignment to help too.

Can it get any better?  I don't think so, but
then....with God in our lives.....I can only imagine
what HE has in store for us!
If I were to include all the miracles ...all the
surprised God has poured on me.....all the times
when he blessed me (even in the middle of
crisis)...I would be writing for months!!!! Thank
you for reading my testimony.  May you be
encouraged by what God has allowed me to share.
And Father God.....thank you for my life, my
family, my friends, and all that you've done in my
life....but God....thank you most of all for YOU,
for JESUS, and for my salvation!   A-MEN
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Laurens
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